I wouldn’t call my wife slow, but…

“Hey Tracy, what nationality is Mr. Sheen?”

“What?”

“What nationality is Mr. Sheen?”

“Who do you mean?”

“Mr. Sheen.”

“… Charlie Sheen? or…”

“Y’know, Mr. Sheen. Like from the adverts on TV.”

“Oh. Right. Er… maybe he’s about 60-odd or something”

“…”

“What?”

“What nationality is he?”

“Oh. Haha.. oops. Um.. is he American or something?”

“Polish”

“Oh is he? I didn’t know that.”

“…”

“…”

“???”

“Oh, for fucks sake.”

1 comment June 21st, 2008

Representative DIY #2

My DIY skillz are teh awesome. Just the other day, I came over all motivated and decided to do what I’ve been planning to in my head for a long time. I put the tumble dryer in the cupboard and made it vent outside. I can now dry clothes overnight in inclement weather. Yay!

Here is a blueprint.

And here is the result.

Pretty amazing eh? Let me walk you through it, step by step.

The hole in the floor was cut (by myself) using a mini electric jiggly saw thing. It’s a square hole for a round tube. I solved that later on. The tube itself needed to be joined onto the hacked-off tube protruding from the back of the dryer. This was solved with sellotape. Extra-wide sellotape.

The tube needed to be hard-up against the vent, so string was pulled through the holes in the vent using a cut up strip of plastic from a racing car toy. Once enough string was fed through enough holes, the tube was pulled up against the vent and tied permanently and securely using several bulky-looking knots.

The aforementioned square hole was deemed a bit windy, so with my trusty DIY scissors, I cut a round hole in a bit of silver cake-presentation card. This was secured around the tube against the floor and secured in place once again with extra-wide tape.

The result, as you can see, can only be described as utterly splendid.

3 comments June 14th, 2008