Archive for July, 2005
Sorry, non-programmers, but this is a geek moment coming up. Look away now.
I just realised that my web server has a java compiler on it. So this is my crazy idea…
I invent a super-duper simple language which people can write programs in and upload to my server. It gets translated into java, with added database connectivity and gubbins like that, then it’s executed.
Why would I do this? To create a programming wars website of course. The language would allow the author to express the AI of a little being that they control with the program they write in order to become the victorious being.
The bit I can’t figure out is the how to become the victorious being bit. I’m going to have to come up with a game of sorts with rules and things. Ideas on a postcard…
End of brain vomit.
July 27th, 2005
A wee hand-scrawled note on a torn off piece of paper was shoved through my letter box informing me that I wasn’t getting a new bathroom.
That’s a relief, I had it in my mind that a ruthless criminal with an elaborate bathroom scam was coming to fit a bathroom tomorrow wether I wanted one or not.
Seems you don’t get things for nothing in this world after all. So now we know.
July 27th, 2005
I posted recently about how each new year brings with it fresh surprises and keeps you on your toes. Well with that in mind I decided for the first time to plough my blog archives and discovered that a year ago I was coming back from a blogging absence and trying to write a robot poker playing program that would make me a millionaire.
Hmm.
Well now that I’m back from a blogging absence let’s now talk about the poker assistance program I’m trying to write just now. I recently discovered that the online poker software I use keeps a handy archive of every game you ever play. What’s more, it’s in a nice format that can be mined by a computer program should you decide to write one.
My ultimate aim is for it to automatically detect betting patterns in opponents and flag them up as you play.
The reason I mention this is that whilst coding said program this lunchtime, it confirmed for me something that I posted about the other day - the futility of taking notes in low stakes poker.
The data has revealed that in the past four weeks of poker playing, I have been up against no less than five-hundred and sixty different opponents. There’s no way you could ever keep track of them all without computer assistance.
Enter ‘Holdem HUD’ - patent not pending. I’ll keep you posted.
July 22nd, 2005
It’s great having a back garden full of long grass. I don’t know why short grass is so popular. People just don’t seem to stop and think things like “Hey, why am I actually cutting this stuff?”. If they did, they’d be happier, and have much more free time to spend with their families, albeit probably not in the garden.
The best bit is that once you’ve learned to love long grass in your garden, it will annoy people who come to visit. And that’s how we ended up with my father-in-law coming round a couple of days ago to spend four hours cutting the back garden down so that the fence was higher than the lawn once more. Hurray!
While he was getting ready to leave though, a nice man came round from the council and said that he wanted to upgrade our bathroom with a new bath, toilet and sink for free. It was explained to him that the house owner wasn’t in, and that it was bought anyway and not a council house. The nice man insisted that it didn’t matter - all the houses on the street were getting it due to the newly allocated council budget for home bathroom upgrades.
He then took a few photos of my bathroom and left, promising to come back next Tuesay at 8am with a new bathroom and some workmen.
This seemed a little odd, so the missus decided to ask the neighbours about it, being the jaded cynic that she is. Next door claimed not to have been offered a bathroom, but had read about ‘bogus workmen’ in the local paper. I’m not sure what a bogus workman is, or what they had done to get themselves in the paper but it seemed to make things even more suspicious.
A quick phone call to the council yielded the pleasantly philosphical response, “You don’t get anything for free in this world.”
I took this to mean that as far as they’re concerned we ain’t getting a bathroom.
This leaves some unanswered questions.
Who is this man? Why did he take photographs of my toilet? Will he be coming back on Tuesday at 8am? Will he actually want to fit a bathroom, and if so will he end up trying to charge me?
I don’t think I’ll be letting him in anyway.
July 22nd, 2005
This whole being a dad thing is starting to become a reality, especially over the past few weeks. I’m not saying I was in denial prior to that or anything, but I’m definitely starting to feel a bit more… dadish.
I think part of it is that men, as a rule, aren’t really that taken with babies. Sure they look cute and are interestingly tiny, but they don’t tend to do very much. A baby for the first few months basically just kinda lies there and twitches randomly with a vacant, glassy stare. When he does do something like greedily grab onto a bottle of milk with his mouth, it’s an event worth getting all worked up about because it shows a glimmer of him being a wee person instead of a wriggling blob that poos.
He has now broken out of this first stage that seems to appeal exclusively to clucky women and mothers, and entered the much more interesting stage that appeals to dads. That stage is the stage where you can pick him up and kinda throw him about.
It’s great to get a wee reaction from this miniature person who giggles uncontrollably when you hold him above your head. For some strange reason, he also finds showing him karate moves absolutely hilarious. It’s a blessing to have a kid who laughs so easily, come to think of it.
He’s yet to enter the eagerly awaited third stage though which is another stage that seems suited to dads. That stage is the one where he’s old enough that you can buy the cool toys in the toy shop. At the moment he’s still on objects and fluffy things that squeak or rattle. Never mind, we’ll soon get him onto radio controlled helicopters, scalextric sets and bikes. All for him of course. Not me, no no.
July 20th, 2005
Working without music just doesn’t work for me so I’ve been in turmiol recently due to the mysterious abduction of my headphones from my desk.
I came up with an inspired idea today though - ‘why not send out an email to see if anyone knows where it is?’
No reply though, so off I went at lunchtime to buy new ones. Of course I get back to find my old ones sitting on my desk.
Luckily I managed to flog the old ones for a tenner and can now listen to music once more, albeit with slightly lighter pockets.
Speaking of buying everyday items of consumer electronics, I want one of these.
July 18th, 2005
Online poker is a bitch, it really is.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of reading up on poker strategies and a lot of experimenting with playing style. I’ve been taking different approaches to hands than I usually take. It’s been educational and slightly costly. I’m starting to think that online poker is simply too hard to be profitable.
Being a computer geek, my finances are meticulously monitored via a very complex spreadsheet and I was recently able to calculate wether I was a good poker player or not. Since January I have made an average loss of £5 per month, which isn’t bad for a hobby. Take out the online play though, and I suddenly become noticably profitable.
You’ll read all sorts of nonsense about how to play poker online such as paying attention to the length of time taken by a player to act. The trouble is you don’t know wether he’s slow because he’s just taking a sip of his coffee, or he’s fast because he clicked the ‘auto check’ button because his* wife is talking to him about something and he’s not too bothered about the hand.
This morning I read through a digest of poker usenet postings and came across one discussing which drugs are best to be on when playing online. Apparently opinions are divided on wether cocaine makes you concentrate more and play aggressively, or wether it makes you play stupid hands.
How are you supposed to play against opponents like that when you can’t tell what’s going on around them, what they are smoking, or how much they’ve had to drink?
I know that there are people who can make a lot of money from online poker playing but I know how they do it - they are high rollers who play at expensive tables where the people they play against are fewer and can be recognised and better read. I keep notes on players I play against in the lower tables but I rarely actually see those players again to make my notes worthwhile.
And incidentally, the theory of raising with low pocket pairs and playing aggressively after the flop as though you’d made a set doesn’t work. I need a better poker book.
* - Yes I know there are quite a few female poker players out there, but my example player is male.
July 15th, 2005
Where did the blue sky go? It was there yesterday, I’m sure.
Being from Scotland means that there is some lag time when the weather changes in the wardrobe department. We’re that used to putting on a jacket that you’ll see lots of bemused, sweating scots in coats on the first day of any sunny spell. Normally by the evening or the next day they will have all been replaced with shorts-wearing burns victims clogging up the aisles in Tescos demanding after-sun lotion.
Today the sun went away and in true Scottish* style I was left roaming around with a tee-shirt on wondering why my hands are blue and quivering.
Hopefully the big black clouds I can see from the office window are foretelling a storm of some kind. You can’t beat a hot-weather rainpour you really can’t.
*-I’m never sure if this is meant to have a capital S. Clarification from an expert please.
July 14th, 2005
The radio transmissions are continuing to be intercepted. Fortunately it’s not interfering with the ability to hear Jr in his room, but if I switch off my own transmitter, then it switches over to ‘radio my-street’ and I can hear all that goes on in someone elses house.
Yesterday I did a random poll of people in the street who looked parent-like and failed completely to find an owner of a Tomy baby monitor. The mystery continues.
My only clue came this morning. There was no sound from the reciever, but the temperature gauge claimed a cooler than expected 21 degrees. My nursery was sitting at 25 degrees, which meant the transmissions has to be coming from a house where the nursery is in the shade in the morning. Perhaps facing east, or under a tall tree.
July 12th, 2005
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