Archive for November, 2004
The scary dude at my work who mans the building reception, (The one that looks like Marlon Brando) is getting scarier. I’ve long since abandoned my project to get him to say good morning back to me.
The other day I walked in and started to sign in as usual. Unexpectedly he let out a loud, booming “Good morning!”
Somewhat taken aback, I offered a quiet, respecfully muttered ‘Good morning’ in return but was completely obscured by the coughing that followed his greeting.
Apparently he didn’t hear my reply since as I walked away from the desk he let out a growl and banged his fists on the desk. I walked faster.
The following day he was ready for me. I walked in and noticed that he wasn’t at his desk but was instead standing looking at the panel of lights on the wall that are meant to light up when the building catches fire. He wasn’t doing anything - he was just standing and looking at it.
I signed my name, walked past him and up the stairs. At the exactly precise moment that my ear was level with the fire alarm siren on the first floor, the fire alarm went off. I nearly shat my pants and went temporarily deaf.
I walked onwards to the office and looked down from the overhead walkway to see him returning to his desk with an air of thick smugness.
I swear he actually timed how long it took to get from the bottom of the stairwell to the fire alarm. He’s scaring me now.
November 26th, 2004
Pesky UGC cinemas. Rejecting our membership cards…
Dear Sirs
Unlimited card numbers: [removed] and [removed]
I am extremely vexed as to how my husband and I have been treated by you. We have both been unlimited card users for three years, paying £19.98 per month for the use of your cinema in Glasgow.
We are unable to use our current cards as we have been advised that these have both expired. We were able to renew our membership but unable to use your cinema until the new cards arrived, despite the fact that the £19.98 direct debit has still been paid to you for this month (November).
We have learned from your customer service helpline, from your colleague Ms. [Jane Doe], that new cards were sent to our old address. Ms. [Doe] also advised that it was our responsibility to notify you of the change in address under the terms of our contract with you. For this reason a refund was impossible, a situation which we regard as very unfair.
Under Scots common law, any onerous terms must be highlighted to the customer in addition to being embodied in the main wording of the terms and conditions. To expect us to remember the small print of something like a cinema membership card after three years is clearly unrealistic.
Furthermore, if the expiration of the card was so important, why was it not printed on the card itself?
Despite the fact that we have paid the subscription for this month, we were advised that we are unable to use our memberships without valid cards. This seems like a peculiar limit to your ‘unlimited’ cards.
We have found the cards to be good value so it is with some regret that we feel that we were forced to cancel both memberships at a loss of £19.98 per month to you. We shall not be using your cinema or opening any new membership with you until November’s subscription has been refunded.
If this matter is not resolved to our satisfaction, we shall be sending a copy of this letter to Trading Standards.
Yours faithfully,
[My missus' name] LLB(Hons), Dip LP NP
Are we right?
November 19th, 2004
Someone remarked today that it’s been ages since we’ve had proper sledging weather. I’d have to agree - the last time I went proper sledging I was at school, and I was sledging down steep, snow-covered hills on the lid of an old twin-tub electric washing machine. Man that lid was fast.
These days, due to environmental effects caused by inconsiderate tobacco smokers, the weather rarely delivers sledging-snow during the winter.
Actually I did go sledging in Windermere a couple of years ago. Me and the missus decided to take advantage of a rare burst of inclement weather and invested in a sledge in order to take advantage of the snowed-in in Windermere predicament that we were suffering at the time.
We found a small hill and ventured up and then slowly slid back down again.
We discovered that as we had gotten older, we’d gotten taller and larger to the point that sitting on a sledge tends to make it sink into the snow rather than fly screaming towards the trees at the bottom.
I tried a first descent and it was less than thrilling. My missus tried her first descent, but the cries of ‘Wheeeeee’ did little to increase her speed.
Learning completely the wrong lesson we thought that both of us together might somehow produce extra thrust. The sledge cracked along its side, and then sank further into the snow.
We went home.
At least I’ll be able to take up sledging again once Junior is born. There must be some thrill in sending your own child screaming down a hill on a sledge.
November 18th, 2004
Ok so it was a stupid idea.
If you create a hard-drive that the whole world can access what happens is that the password is changed in less than fifteen minutes. It then takes less than two hours for someone to attempt to reset the password on your own personal gmail account.
Where’s the love, people?
November 12th, 2004
Well I’ve used up one of my gmail invites anyway. I invited the whole world with it!
Let me explain…
There’s a cool program that lets you use your 1Gb gmail account as a hard-drive.
So I thought “wow, that means you could have a hard-drive that’s shared by everyone in the whole world! I wonder what they’d put on it.”
So I set up whole.world@gmail.com. You can install the gmail drive thing and log on with the password ’setjetwilly’.
I might be over-estimating the scope of my audience slightly (whole world indeed) but I’ll post it on b3ta too and see where that gets us.
November 10th, 2004
Six gmail invites for those who want them.
You have to earn them though. I want five serious suggestions for boys names. If I like the suggestions, you get a gmail invite.
Things are getting desperate in the baby naming world.
November 8th, 2004
