Crazy workman

“Excuse me!”

If someone says that to you in a drunken, slurred voice the sensible thing to do is pretend you didn’t hear anything and keep walking. Unfortunately I caught him out of the corner of my eye and he looked like a workman working on the roadworks at the side of the road. My double take was enough to force me to stop and suddenly find myself talking to a drunken gentleman.

He had grubby trousers, workboots and a lumberjack shirt so he looked just like a workman. He also stank of booze, which seemed peculiarly unprofessional of him.

“See that yellow hosepipe?”

“Aye…”

“That’s the water for the workmen on the roof. I’m gonnae switch it aff!”

“Right…”

“See when they see that there’s nae water comin’ oot? They’ll be a’ like ‘Where the fuck’d the water go?’ Hahahaha!”

“Better no do that then!”

“Ah’m gonnae dae it anyway! This’ll be good craic!”

Then we went our separate ways as he moved on to explaining his plan to someone else.

Add comment May 5th, 2004