Daniel O’Donnell

Right then. Doggie walker number three is coming round tonight for a chat and to meet the dog to see if they get along. There’s a long line of bad luck in the doggie walkers we’ve used. Doggie walker number one had a heart attack whilst walking the dog. Doggie walker number two didn’t really walk the dog at all. She just said she did and collected the money.

This third doggie walker better be in good physical fitness and had better not object to me putting CCTV cameras in the kitchen for the express purpose of spying on her.

At least we won’t have to tidy the house up before she arrives. If you want to get your house tidied, just fall out with your wife. The two of you will retreat to opposite corners of the house and not talk to one another whilst furiously busying yourselves with the thousand-and-one tasks that have been needing done for weeks. Before you know it, the house has been spring cleaned from top to bottom.

We’re talking to each other now though, and all our CDs are out of plastic bags and organized into the CD rack in the living room. If it was a falling out worth worrying about the CDs would probably have been put into alphabetical order.

One thing worth worrying about was that we found out that we own a best of Daniel O’Donnel CD. I can’t work this out. Seriously I have no idea why we have this. It must have been thrown in through our window by a passing pensioner or something. That’s the best explanation I can come up with. The missus didn’t buy it. Where the fuck did it come from? I’d never seen it before last night.

If you’re missing a Daniel O’Donnell CD, let me know and I’ll sort you out. Maybe I should give it away in some sort of competition. Maybe I’ll throw in the compilation CD of relaxing classical music, introduced by Felicity Kendal. That’s another one that arrived via a space warp in my CD box, rather than via the more usual HMV purchase route.

Add comment March 19th, 2004