This izb lark is easy

Wouldn’t you expect x to be like y, maybe it’s just because I’m z but I’m always like that, funny thing that happened at work today, oops shouldn’t mention work, weary reaction of missus, animal/child causing chaos.

(insert mini-sketch of animal/child causing chaos)

Glasgow, eh? Unsatisfactory resolution “in the form of a quote.”

Onewordending.

(optional viral)

Add comment February 12th, 2004

Anonymous Soapboxer

Yes, I agree with previous Guest, kudos to izb for letting random, possibly illiterate strangers loose on his webpage. I promise I will not tinker with the layout, nor post pictures of cute pussycats or babies dressed in buzzy bee costumes sitting in baskets full of fake flowers.

Today I was walking behind two men, both of them probably in their early twenties, outside a row of shops. Both of them were in suits, and were reasonably well groomed. I thought to myself; there go a couple of young professionals in their lunch break.

Then one of them started talking and every second word was the f*** word. My opinion of him fell through the floor. Then his colleague replied, using similar language. It was instantaneous; I no longer had as much respect for them as I did when I was judging them purely by their appearance. In fact I had barely any respect for them at all.

So endeth the lesson today, beautiful readers. Inappropriate foul language will give others the impression that you have the intellectual capability and morals of a frozen pea.

Add comment February 12th, 2004

Thanks and Kudos

Well I for one would like to thank this blog for enlightening my web life, for pointing out funny, interesting and geeky areas of the web and being entertaining in itself. Being an idiot, I don’t think I’d have found bash.org or grouphug.us if you gave me a hundred years to tootle round the web. Those are but a couple of the gems brought to my attention via this site, also, having spread the word of these gems to colleagues and friends alike I have become uber popular. Best of luck.

PS Don’t bollocks it up.

Add comment February 12th, 2004

Thinking of Doughnuts

Today I got a coupon in the mail. The coupon whet my appetite by telling me that a new Krispy Kreme doughnut shop would finally be opening down the street from my house. And to celebrate? A coupon for a dozen hot glazed doughnuts for 99 cents. That is, after I’ve already bought a dozen doughnuts at the regular price.

I’ve been trying to figure out how many of the 24 doughnuts I should eat myself, and how many I could try to give away to homeless people near the Santa Monica store. But then I thought about the Twinkie Defense (a man who had eaten 7 Twinkies and killed a man got off due to insanity/too much sugar) and wondered if I would be responsible if a homeless man that I gave doughnuts to, killed someone in his sugar-filled haze?

So I’ve decided to eat all 24.

Thanks for the guest spot. Check me out!

Add comment February 12th, 2004

dmj

This weekend this website will be brought to you with the words scotch, narcissism and flame war.

Add comment February 12th, 2004

Abuse! Profanity!

Ohh this is SOOOOOOO tempting.

Should I be rude? Should I blow his cover? (Is “blowing his cover” really a euphemism?)

Or should we all play nice and try and give him something to look forward to?

I say we take pics of our bums and ‘virtually’ moon him - all those in favour….

Add comment February 12th, 2004

When I was a child…

I had been told that I had came from “my mummy’s tummy.” I was also told that before that I had been “a twinkle in my daddy’s eye”. So, at a very early age, I came about one of the basic facts about human reproduction - that a man puts something in a woman that turns into a baby. I never did quite understand how he got his eye into my mum, though. Maybe it pops out or something.

Add comment February 12th, 2004

When I was a child…

I had been told that I had came from “my mummy’s tummy.” I was also told that before that I had been “a twinkle in my daddy’s eye”. So, at a very early age, I came about one of the basic facts about human reproduction - that a man puts something in a woman that turns into a baby. I never did quite understand how he got his eye into my mum, though. Maybe it pops out or something.

Add comment February 12th, 2004

A la Blogjam

Bollocks to this, I’m off to Ireland.

Add comment February 12th, 2004

Stupid Idea

Tomorrow night I’m going away for a week. Don’t concern yourself with where - the important point is that I won’t be here and I won’t have web access, so this blog won’t get updated, and I won’t be able to read it.

I have a crazy idea though to keep it updated and keep things interesting. It might also serve as some kind of poorly concieved publicity stunt for the blog.

I’ve created a guest login account on Movable Type. Before I go, I’ll post the login details and Movable Type access URL for this blog at the top of the page. The post will self-destruct in a clever way after twenty-four hours. Anyone who decides to use the login will be able to blog with complete anonymity.

Obviously this will be open to horrendous abuse, so I might chicken out at the last moment. Ideas of ways to police it for spam and abusive messages will be welcome.

So, is this a good idea, or is this a stupid, stupid idea?

Add comment February 12th, 2004