Phone call

Phone call, ten minutes ago…

“There’s a personal call for you”

“Ok…”

“Hello?”

“Hi, you don’t know me, but I see you on the train in the mornings.”

“Eh?”

“Well I’m wondering if you’d like to go for a drink?”

“Er.. is your name F by any chance?”

“No, who’s F?”

“Look, ha ha, just put T on, is she there?”

“There’s no-one called T here. I work in the office opposite yours, I was just wondering if you’d like to go out for a drink?”

“Which office?”

“I can’t tell you. My boss might get me into trouble.”

“Would he?”

“Yes. He’s a bit of a tyrant.”

“How did you get my number?”

“I’m clever.”

“I see. So what’s your name?”

“Sarah.”

(Long pause)

“So do you want to go for a drink?”

“No, I’m afraid not, sorry”

“Why not?”

“I’m married.”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see your wedding ring before.”

“Ok.”

“Bye.”

I’m freaked out right now.

Add comment January 29th, 2004

Ouch

I was dozing happily this morning when I became conscious of four little paws pounding up the stairs at what sounded like forty miles per hour.

Suddenly, the dog leapt across the bed, landing on the other side neatly ninja-kicking me in the nose at the peak of her arc.

Just as quickly as the assault happened, she fucked off leaving me fully awake and shouting the kind of obscenities that sends one directly to hell.

Ever get the feeling you’re living in a cartoon?

Good morning.

Add comment January 29th, 2004