DIY Lessons

I’d like to continue my series in DIY education if I may.

· When preparing a DIY task, make sure you have all the correct tools and are fully prepared for the task.

So, having previously realised that DIY is an exercise in compromise, I decided that the best thing to do was to save money by patching the hole in the hall ceiling myself. Down to B&Q with the missus I went straight after dinner where I equipped myself fully for the task. At home I set everything up and checked that I was prepared in full.

1 Bucket for plaster (For preparation of)
1 Pointed steel trowel
1 Lightweight plaster float (For application of)
7.5kg of building plaster
2.5kg of finishing plaster
2.5 Litres of water
1 Packet of disposable dust-masks
1 Halogen spotlight
1 Dustsheet (For radiator, protection of)
1 Pair of spectacles (For eyes, protection of)

I promptly set about mixing the plaster in the bucket. So far so good. The dust mask was discarded and deemed to be ridiculous - this was plaster, not sarin nerve-gas. The warnings on the packet about small quantities of lime in the powder had prompted the purchase and since the only uses of lime that I was aware of were illuminating theatre stages in the old days and dissolving murder victims, I decided to buy a mask.

Time to continue the checklist

- Consistency is think and creamy.
- Ladder is in a safe and secure position.
- Electricity to the wiring has been turned off.

· Do not forget the obvious when performing checks.

I climbed the ladder with my float, trowel and plaster and reached upwards towards the missing section of my ceiling. At that point I relised that something was missing from my checklist.

- Make sure you can reach the fucking hole.

The job is now half-done. I managed to stretch up to get the hard to reach sections by poking plaster at it with the tip of my trowel. It’s not going to be a visible section of plaster anyway, and in any case I managed to get a better look at the damage and re-assessed it as ‘ignorable’, so even if I balls it up it won’t be a disaster.

Oh, and glasses don’t stop globs of plaster getting in your eyes after all.

Add comment January 28th, 2004

Snow

It’s snowing outside. I hate snow.

I like looking at snow, it’s all very pretty and everything - I like the way it changes the landscape, making everything anonymous. Unfortunately it’s fucking freezing, makes your hands hurt and freezes up things like your car windscreen and door locks.

People who like snow don’t have to walk dogs either. And it takes twice as long to walk to the train station in the morning because you walk like a constipated robot trying not to slip up and break your arse-bone.

Update: Anyone know how to enable trackback pings on your old posts? Updating the ‘allow pings’ field in the post entry table isn’t enough, coz I tried it.

Add comment January 28th, 2004